### Problem
>No one can be close to others, without also having frequent opportunities to be alone.

### Solution
>Give each member of the family a room of their own, especially adults. A minimum room of one’s own is an alcove with a desk, shelves, and curtain. The maximum is a cottage—like a [[Teenager's Cottage (154)]] , or an [[Old Age Cottage (155)]]. In all cases, especially the adult ones, place these rooms at the far ends of the intimacy gradient—far from the common rooms.

### Related Patterns
... the [[Intimacy Gradient (127)]] makes it clear that every house needs rooms where individuals can be alone. In any household which has more than one person, this need is fundamental and essential - [[The Family (75)]], [[House for a Small Family (76)]], [[House for a Couple (77)]]. This pattern, which defines the rooms that people can have to themselves, is the natural counterpart and complement to the social activity provided for in [[Common Areas at the Heart (129)]].

Use this pattern as an antidote to the extremes of "togetherness" created by [[Common Areas at the Heart (129)]]. Even for small children, give them at least an alcove in the communal sleeping area - [[Bed Alcove (188)]]; and for the man and woman, give each of them a separate room, beyond the couples realm they share; it may be an expanded dressing room - [[Dressing Rooms (189)|Dressing Room (189)]], a home workshop - [[Home Workshop (157)]], or once again, an alcove off some other room - [[Alcoves (179)]], [[Workspace Enclosure (183)]] - If there is money for it, it may even be possible to give a person a cottage, attached to the main structure - [[Teenager's Cottage (154)]], [[Old Age Cottage (155)]]. In every case there must at least be room for a desk, a chair, and [[Things From Your Life (253)]]. And for the detailed shape of the room, see [[Light on Two Sides of Every Room (159)]] and [[The Shape of Indoor Space (191)]] ...

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> [!cite]- Alexander, Christopher. _A Pattern Language: Towns, Buildings, Construction_. Oxford University Press, 1977, p. 668.
> #APL/confidence/high
>
> #APL/Building-Patterns/Private-Rooms